Comments for Sexual Abuse Help

Comment on Sexual Abuse Help – Become a Partner in Recovery! by Maia Berens

Maia Berens — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 22:54:23 +0000

Give yourself as much time as you need. It may take awhile and there’s no hurry but you can recover. I have.

Comment on Sexual Abuse Help – Become a Partner in Recovery! by Steve LePore

Steve LePore — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 20:41:21 +0000

If our website can be of use to you and/or your clients please refer them. Thanks.

Comment on How To Trust When Trusting Feels Dangerous? by Melissa

Melissa — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 00:04:44 +0000

I’d like to be part of your e-course on relationships.

I’m a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, and struggle to keep an open heart and brave spirit in my intimate relationships. It’s difficult.

Comment on Songs by 3pluribusunum

3pluribusunum — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 16:44:52 +0000

Musste so weinen als ich dem lied zugehoert habe. ich habe noch nie nette deutsche menschen kennengelernt. warscheinlich weil ich schon so frueh weg bin…aber das lied hat mich sehr bewegt. danke dir so sehr…
es gibt ach gute deutsche, das hoert sich jetzt voll rasistisch on aber das meine ich nicht so. ich habe es noch nie gefuehlt und durch das lied habe ich aber die waerme gefuehlt.
danke dir so sehr…

Comment on Do Sexual Abuse Survivors Need Therapy? by 3pluribusunum

3pluribusunum — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 16:39:10 +0000

Cool lol! Am wondering now what song that could be!

I used to live in Germany too, until I was around 19, then I moved to England. I used to live near Frankfurt. About an hour away. Beofre I moved to England I lived in Berlin for about 2 years.

I am so excited about finding this Blog and your other blogs too. It really is true… We always find what we need at the time… (or how that saying goes lol)

I too have a lot of compassion for my husband, and my son (he is 11) I often wished that he and my son had some support themselves. It must be so so lonely for him and so difficult. He is a very loving man, very gentle but also very caring and I know that him seeing me so down and in distress breaks his heart.

I cant will tell him about your support group once it is up and running although I doubt he will use it. You know men… not big on talking! But I hope he will at least have a look.
You are doing so much for survivors and I have seen your other blogs too about DID. There seems to be much info and I cant wait to read it all. Form what I have read so far it looks really good; I feel it is different from all the other info I have read so far. Different in a good way.

Comment on Do Sexual Abuse Survivors Need Therapy? by gudrunfrerichs

gudrunfrerichs — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 16:08:07 +0000

Good on you! The best way of fighting back is having a life worth living! Nobody can change the past but we can change how we live our future.

Reading your comment I had a lot of tender feelings towards those who give endlessly support to survivors. I am about to put a support website for sexual abuse survivors online and think we also need one for partners, who often are the backbone of recovery.

You are right – my name is German and so am I. I was born in Hamburg and live for the last 20 years with my family in New Zealand. I’ll put one of my favourite songs on the site for you!
Cheers
Gudrun

Comment on Do Sexual Abuse Survivors Need Therapy? by 3pluribusunum

3pluribusunum — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 15:59:48 +0000

Hello Gudrun
Yes I so agree with you. My relationship with my husband has been so so therapeutic for me. He let me hide behind him for 11 years. He never demanded anything from me but supported me gently to for example take my driving test. (I met my husband when I was 17)
But burn out is so close isnt it? We are still together and I have to say, without the relationship with my husband I’d probably be dead now – I def. would be living on the streets.

By the way, sorry for my english, I was born in Germany. Your name is german isnt it?

I agree iwth you also on the shame and guilt a survivor can (and many do) feel. It kept me from so many things. But I have been in therapy for 4 years now and am starting my degree in counselling soon! (hopefully) It has been a long and rocky road but I wont let shame and guilt keep me down anymore (I try to anyway)

bisouxx

Comment on Do Sexual Abuse Survivors Need Therapy? by gudrunfrerichs

gudrunfrerichs — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 03:44:20 +0000

Hi pluribusunum, I totally agree with you. The therapeutic relationship is the ideal place to work on your recovery because the deal is that the therapist is there for you, focuses 100% on your needs. Every thing that happens in the therapeutic relationship is geared to help you recover.

This is impossible in a relationship that is based on two people mutually meeting each other’s needs. It’s also would be a difficult situation having power distributed so non-equal when one partner is always the carer and the other always the cared for.

However, relationships can be very therapeutic and help survivors on their road to recovery.

For many who feel unable to approach a therapist because of fear, shame, guilt, …. or even not knowing that their problems are related to experiences of sexual abuse, having a friend or partner who is understanding can be life saving. On a down side, partners or friends easily burn out and go into compassion fatigue if they are the only support.

I wish you well on your recovery journey.
Cheers
Gudrun

Comment on Do Sexual Abuse Survivors Need Therapy? by 3pluribusunum

3pluribusunum — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 12:25:54 +0000

I persoonally would not be able to work on my issues surrounding relationships on my own. I need to be in a relationship to work on the issues which come up when i am in a relationship, and i cant demand from my partner that he will do that. i need someone who can work with me through my fears and issues in a safe enviroment – the therapeutic relationship